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Girl on the Third Floor (2019)

(Warning: Spoilers lie ahead)

So, as always, we were drawn in by a horror film that was claimed online 'to terrify all that watched it' and that was 'the scariest horror film of the year'. Well ladies and gentlemen, I can confirm that it definitely was not (in my opinion anyhow). 

I was so disappointed with this film after all the hype. From the premise to the unlikeable characters and poor ending, it felt as though we just wasted an hour and a half that we would never get back. But before I get into why I didn't particularly like this film, I'll talk through the plot!

The story begins with a man called Don (C.M Punk) purchasing a creepy-in-the-middle-of-a-odd-American-town house that he is planning on redecorating for him, his wife (played by Trieste Kelly Dunn) and their baby that's on the way. From the get-go, Don seems like he has a shady past - a theory that's backed up by his lawyer visiting him and the way that he acts whenever meeting someone.

Over the few days, his adorable dog Cooper (the highlight of this film) starts to notice things around the house – from marbles mysteriously rolling on the floors to ghostly figures haunting the halls at night. Although he tries to warn Don about them, for some reason he simply ignores it.

As the sightings become worse, Don meets Sarah (played by Sarah Yates) who mysteriously hangs around the house and seduces him. Then everything takes a wrong turn when Sarah starts to go pyscho and kills Cooper and Don's friend Milo who comes to help with the renovation. 

After torturing Don, his wife Liz turns up unexpectedly, not realising what happened. This is where the film went even more downhill for me. After meeting Sarah it's uncovered that the house used to be a brothel that entertained lots of single men each night. One man who controlled the brothel, had killed Sarah and a girl with deformaties, and they now haunt the house – killing everyone who enters for some reason.

Then, Liz witnesses a strange scene in which men are watching Sarah take part in a sexual act. When this comes to a close, Liz realises just how crazy the house is – tries to kill Sarah and the other girl and runs out of it – only to be greeted by the spooky neighbour who says 'you did well in there'. And that's pretty much how it ended.

That's just a brief overview of the film. However, as I wrote it out it brought back just how bizarre this film was. Although it started promising, I began to hate Don's character and didn't really care when something happened to him. It also never truly explained why the girls killed people and why the neighbour failed to say hardly anything about the house in the first place.

Another big annoyance to me was the fact that Don failed to search every room when he was walking around and renovating the home; leaving a room that obviously had something in it untouched whilst he slept next to it.

So, yeah. Overall, I would not recommend this film in the slightest. The characters weren't likeable, the plot was stupid in parts and the fact that it never explained anything was careless.

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— AW